Life Will Go On
by Princess Oats 435
Summary: A crisis hits that involves the Cohens and the CooperNichols which tests everyone's loyalties and strengths. Really awful summary, please give it a try.
1. Life will go on

The idea for this popped into my head while I was watching the first season (which, I have all my roommates hooked on the show now too, and when I come home from class, I often find them watching my DVD's. It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside). In "The Proposal" one of the Newpsies say something to Marissa along the lines of, "you and your mother will never have to worry about money again." Inspiration struck. In this, Caleb never was involved in that whole Rene Wheeler scandal. So Lindsay doesn't exist, and he was never involved with the police. Oh, and Ryan never left Newport. Okay? Awesome. Review and let me know what you think. And don't worry I'm still working on my other fic, this just won't get out of my head. The quotes from this chapter are from the song "Life will go on" by Chris Issak.

Disclaimer: In the spirit of Christmas, or Chrismukkah, how about you don't sue me? Okay. The characters are not mine.

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_Broken sky, heartaches that flowers won't mend_

_Say goodbye, knowing that this is the end_

_Tender dreams, shadows fall_

_Love too sweet to recall_

_Dry your eyes_

_Face the dawn_

_Life will go on_

_Life will go on_

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The phone rang at three in the morning waking everyone in the house up. In Sandy's experience, middle of the night phone calls were never a good thing, and he quickly ran through his head where the most important people to him were. Kirsten was lying next to him, now sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Seth and Ryan had stayed in that night with Sandy and Kirsten. They had rented movies and made popcorn, and as far as Sandy knew, they were both in their beds sleeping.

"Hello?" Kirsten had reached over first to grab it. "Julie? It's three in the…is he okay? I'll be right down." Sandy watched as his wife went pale, and hung up the phone and just sat staring at the wall in front of her for a moment shell shocked.

"Honey? Are you okay?" She was trembling, he noted, and he was suddenly very worried himself. "Kirsten? Baby, what's the matter? What did Julie want?"

"It's my dad," she said softly. "He's had a heart attack." Sandy immediately reached over and pulled Kirsten into his arms.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm sure he's going to be fine," Sandy assured her rubbing a hand down her back. His feelings for Caleb aside, he was still Kirsten's father, and she still loved him. Kirsten pulled away and ran to her closet and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. Sandy got himself dressed just as Kirsten emerged from the bathroom, her hair thrown into a ponytail.

"I have to…wake up the boys. And call Hailey…and I have to call the office…and…" She trailed off and Sandy wrapped his arms around her again.

"Get your shoes on, I'm going to go let the boys know where we're going," Sandy said. Kirsten managed a nod, and Sandy went to Seth's room first.

"Seth, buddy, wake up," Sandy said shaking him lightly.

"What? Dad, it's the middle of the night," Seth whined. Suddenly as if it just occurred to him the time, Seth sat up. There was no reason that his father would wake him up unless something was wrong. "What's the matter? Is it Mom? Is it Ryan?"

"Your grandfather had a heart attack, I'm taking your mom to the hospital. I just wanted to let you know where we were going to be," Sandy told him.

"Is Grandpa going to be okay?" Seth asked. Sandy didn't want to lie to him, especially because he really didn't know what was going on, so he just shrugged.

"We'll see when we get there," Sandy said honestly. "Your mother is pretty upset." Seth could only imagine.

"Tell Mom that I love her? Tell Grandpa that too," Seth said and Sandy was reminded of what a great kid he had.

"I will, we'll call when we know something." Seth nodded, and Sandy left and made his way through the dark house to the pool house. Ryan was sprawled out on his stomach, but woke up as soon as the door closed behind Sandy.

"Sandy?" He asked sleepily, turning over to face him.

"Caleb had a heart attack, I'm taking Kirsten down to see him." Ryan nodded. "We'll call when we know something. Go back to sleep." Sandy closed the door behind him gently and found Kirsten in the kitchen, pouring coffee for herself and Sandy into travel mugs. She handed one to him, and he was pleased to see that she had stopped shaking. Kirsten looked calm and composed.

"I tried Hailey, but I couldn't reach her in Japan," she said. "Did you tell the boys?"

"Yeah, you ready to go?" Kirsten let out a shaky breath and nodded. Sandy reached out and took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

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_All along thought that we still had a chance_

_Letting go, this is the end of romance_

_Broken heart, find your way_

_Make it through, just this day_

_Face the world_

_On your own_

_Life will go on_

_Life will go on_

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Julie shifted on the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. Marissa, who in an unusual act of sympathy and kindness towards her mother had come with her, was now curled up a few seats down from her. Her eyes were closed, but Julie was sure that she couldn't be sleeping. The chairs were not the most conducive for sleeping, and add to that the television in the corner, and the woman across the room sobbing into her hands, there was no way that someone could sleep here. But driving her mother to the hospital was as far as Marissa's kindness extended, she certainly wasn't going to talk to Julie.

The door slid open and Kirsten and Sandy hurried in. Sandy's hand was tightly wrapped around Kirsten's, as he led his wife over to where Julie and Marissa were sitting. Marissa opened her eyes, and smiled slightly at her stepsister, standing and wrapping her arms around her. Julie climbed to her feet as well, and was surprised when Sandy gave her a hug.

"How is he? Have they told you anything?" Kirsten asked Julie as she gave her a hug of her own.

"No," Julie said shaking her head. "They haven't told me anything yet." Sandy wrapped an arm around his wife, and gave her a kiss on the temple.

"I'm going to go see what I can find out," Kirsten said. Julie wanted to argue with her, tell her that there was no point in her going over there. They wouldn't tell Julie anything and Julie was his wife. But instead, she just let Kirsten walk away.

"How are you holding up?" Sandy asked Julie. Marissa had sat back down in her seat, curling up, and once again closing her eyes. How was Julie holding up? Well, she had run through a gauntlet of emotions in the past hour. First there had been anger at Caleb for waking her up, and then had come the fear when she saw that he was struggling to breathe and was turning blue. She had screamed for Marissa, who had come running, and dialed 911 for her mother and then went down to wait for the paramedics. There had been relief when the paramedics finally arrived. There had been a tiny bit of happiness when Marissa had offered to drive her mother and stay at the hospital with her, even gave her a small hug. Then there had been the phone call to Kirsten which brought on the fear again, and now here she was terrified, nervous, and sick of waiting for the doctor to come out.

"I'm…terrified," Julie finally settled on, and Sandy nodded. Kirsten reappeared in the doorway, a doctor trailing behind.

"How did she do that?" Julie wondered out loud.

"You forget," Sandy said smiling a little at his wife. "She is Caleb Nichol's daughter."

"We've taken Mr. Nichol into surgery," the doctor said. "If you would like to go up to the surgical waiting room, it's a bit more comfortable." Julie nodded, and felt a hand on her elbow and was surprised to find it belonged to Marissa. The four followed behind the doctor as he led the way upstairs. Julie caught the word bypass along with other medical terms that she didn't understand. Kirsten did, apparently, because she was nodding and asking the appropriate questions.

Well, Julie decided. Kirsten could take charge. Julie did not usually do that well in a crisis. Generally, she would panic and end up making rash decisions without thinking through the consequences. Or she would think that she was doing the right thing, but never actually was. That had been what had gotten her in trouble so much with Marissa in the past. So instead of trying to be the one in control, Julie relinquished that job to Kirsten and just followed behind Sandy and Kirsten and tried to catch every other word, knowing that Kirsten would fill in the blanks.

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_There'll be blue skies_

_There'll be true love_

_Someday I'll hold you again_

_There'll be blue skies in a better world, darling_

_Tender dreams, shadows fall_

_Love too sweet to recall_

_Dry your eyes_

_Face the dawn_

_Life will go on_

_Life will go on_

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Kirsten had her eyes closed, her head resting up against Sandy's shoulders. Sandy had his arm around her, and was absentmindedly running a hand up and down her arm. Julie was sitting a few seats down from the couple, staring straight ahead. Marissa was on the other side of Kirsten, offering one hand to her stepsister, and the other was being held by Ryan, who along with Seth and Summer had come down to wait.

When the door opened, all heads shot up and all seven got to their feet. Seth knew it was bad news as soon as he saw the doctor's face. And he knew that his father knew it too, because he wrapped his arm around his wife tightly, and shared a worried look with both Ryan and Seth.

To Kirsten, she felt like she was underwater and the words the came next were distorted and muffled. But she heard them.

"I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do," the doctor said, and Julie managed to nod numbly sinking back down into a chair, but Kirsten tumbled to her knees, despite Sandy's firm grip, sobbing into her hands. Sandy immediately dropped to his own knees, pulling Kirsten to him, and rubbing a hand up and down her back and repeating that it would be okay, and that he was there for her. Summer had wrapped Seth in a hug, and Marissa and Ryan both stood shocked. Marissa finally went to her mother, sitting next to her and offering her a hand. Sandy stood up, with his arms still around Kirsten, letting her sob into his shoulder. Seth went to his mother, and the two stood holding each other, as Kirsten cried clutching her son's sweater. Sandy pulled Ryan into a hug and Ryan was surprised to see tears glistening in Sandy's eyes. He wasn't sure if they were for Caleb, or for Kirsten who was so obviously heartbroken.

"I was starting to become fond of the old bastard," Sandy said letting the tears escape, as his wife came back into his arms.

Julie sat shocked on the chairs, not able to cry, or to even begin to think about what would happen next.

Caleb was dead.

Her husband was dead. And she couldn't cry for him. And she only had one thought going through her head,

What would happen now?

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_Broken heart_

_Find your way_

_Make it through, just this day_

_Face the world _

_On your own_

_Life will go on_

_Life will go on_

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Okay so that was the first chapter, let me know what you thought of it, and if you want me to continue! Thanks!


	2. Love too sweet to recall

Hi! I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas, or Hanukkah, or both, and I wish you all a very happy New Year. Anyway, my Christmas was awesome, except now I'm sick, but at least it held off until after Christmas, so there's that. Here is the next chapter, please review again and tell me what you thought. Oh! And thanks so much for reviewing the last time, it was also very awesome.

Disclaimer: The characters, sadly, do not belong to me.

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The four kids sat in the living room of the Cohen house still in a state of shock. Summer glanced around the living room that was usually full of…well, living. Now it felt the same as that waiting room at the hospital. Seth, who usually would be trying to lighten up the mood with a few well placed inappropriate comments, had been eerily quiet since they had found out that Caleb was dead. Ryan, who normally Summer would have to pry words out of, was being quite talkative, she guessed in an attempt to make things better the only way that he knew how. Marissa was staring out the window at the ocean, and looked lost in her own little world. Julie had disappeared from the hospital once she calmed herself down, and no one had seen her since.

And Kirsten. Poor Kirsten. Summer's heart broke for her.

When Kirsten finally stopped crying, she had gone numb. It was frightening to witness, it was almost like she had just completely shut down. Sandy had gone and gotten a sedative prescribed for her, and had gently led her to their car and told the kids that they would meet them at home. The four kids had been sitting in the living room talking quietly when the front door opened, and Sandy led Kirsten in. She was crying again, and he asked Ryan to get him a glass of water and made her take the sedative, and then led her upstairs to their bedroom, which was where they were now.

"I'm going to um…check on Kirsten," Ryan said breaking the silence that had fallen over the room since Kirsten and Sandy had walked in. He had no idea what to do in this situation. Caleb hadn't been his favorite guy in the world, but he had started to warm up to Ryan recently and had even stopped calling him "that boy". And Kirsten…God, she was so upset, Ryan hated to see her like that. Everyone did.

"That's a good idea," Summer said softly. "I'll come too." She wanted to leave this living room, and feel like she was useful in some way. Seth just nodded, announced that he was going to be by himself for a little while, and Marissa hardly acknowledged anyone, just stared out the window. Summer followed Ryan up the stairs to Sandy and Kirsten's bedroom. The door was opened and Kirsten was lying in the bed asleep, with Sandy sitting next to her, watching her and stroking her hair. Ryan cleared his throat and Sandy looked up, but didn't move away from his sleeping wife.

"How is she?" Ryan asked.

"She's asleep," Sandy said running a hand over his face and sighing. "That's something at least." He paused and looked down at Kirsten and sighed again. "Has anyone gotten a hold of Hailey?" Summer shook her head. She had been assigned the duty to try repeatedly to get Hailey on the phone, and hadn't been able to yet. "I still can't believe he's dead."

"Is she going to be okay?" Ryan asked gesturing to Kirsten.

"Yeah. We had to keep her sedated when her mother died too. She's going to be fine, she just…she can't handle it at first." Ryan nodded and came over to the side of the bed and leaned down and placed a kiss on her temple.

"How are you?" Sandy asked Summer, who simply shrugged.

"It doesn't seem real," Summer said. It was true. Summer had in her head this image of Caleb. Intimidating, influential, immortal. It didn't seem right that a simple heart attack had killed the great Caleb Nichol. Where was the fiery crash and list of suspects? Where was the dramatic ending?

But Summer was learning that this was how these things worked. No dramatic ending, just a bunch of people left behind heartbroken.

"How's Marissa?" Sandy asked.

"I don't think her disdain for him was a secret, she feels terrible for Kirsten and Hailey, and even a little bit for her mother, I think," she replied. "But she didn't want him to die…maybe move to Tibet and become a monk…but she didn't want him to die."

"Has anyone heard from Julie?" Sandy asked rubbing a hand over Kirsten's back and leaning down every so often to place a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"No," Ryan said. "Marissa tried calling her, but she turned her phone off."

"This is so surreal," Sandy finally said looking down at Kirsten again. "And she's hurting so much, and I hate that I can't do anything about it." The phone rang before he could say anything else, and he reached for it. "Hello? Hailey." Ryan and Summer exchanged a look. This was one conversation that they were glad that they didn't have to be a part of. "Yes, we called you. I know, it's emergency…No, Kirsten's okay, it's not Kirsten…Hailey, when can you come home? Caleb…he had a heart attack…he didn't make it, I'm so sorry Hailey…okay, we'll see you then… She's upset, the doctor prescribed a sedative…I know, I'll tell her you love her." He hung up and for what felt like the millionth time that day, sighed.

"Is Hailey okay?" Summer asked.

"Yeah, she took it better than I thought she would…she's getting the first flight home. It'll be good for Kirsten to see her. How is Seth?"

"He's quiet," Ryan answered honestly.

"I'd go check on him, but I don't want to leave her alone," Sandy said gesturing to Kirsten. "I don't want her to be by herself if she wakes up."

"We'll go check on him Mr. Cohen," Summer offered.

"Thank you Summer," Sandy said and Ryan and Summer slipped from the bedroom to go downstairs to check on Seth.

"This is unbelievable," Summer muttered. "Caleb Nichol is dead."

"I know," Ryan replied. "I keep thinking that there should be more to it than just this…a heart attack. It almost seems too normal, you know?" Summer looked at Ryan slightly surprised that they had been thinking on parallel lines.

"I was thinking the exact same thing," she told him. And the thought kept repeating through both their heads was identical as well.

There should be more to it than this.

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Kirsten woke up and found her husband dozing next to her. It took her a minute to fully wake up, and when she did, the events of the previous day rushed back at her and she literally gasped for breath.

Her father was dead.

She brought a hand to her mouth and choked back a sob. Sandy stirred next to her and opened one eye.

"Kirsten?" He asked propping himself up on an elbow and pushing the hair out of her eyes with the other hand. "Are you okay honey?"

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked glancing at the clock.

"All day," Sandy told her. "We thought that it would be better just to let you get some sleep."

"Has anyone talked to Hailey?" Kirsten asked.

"She's on her way," Sandy told her. Kirsten nodded, and threw her legs over the side of the bed. Sandy was relieved to see that Kirsten was going back to normal. She could look at the events with a little more composure and decide what to do from there.

"Good," Kirsten said sighing as she changed her clothes out of the jeans and sweater she had thrown on before they rushed to the hospital. Throwing on a pair of pajama bottoms, she reached form Sandy's old Berkeley sweatshirt and pulled it over her head. "How is Seth?"

"He's okay. Ryan, Summer, and Marissa are with him."

"I'm going to go check on him," Kirsten said and Sandy nodded, following her closely behind down the stairs and through the kitchen where Summer was making them food and Ryan was pulling out bottles of Pepsi from the refrigerator.

"Mrs. Cohen," Summer said when Kirsten came in. "I'm so sorry." Kirsten nodded and allowed the young girl to wrap her arms around her in a brief hug.

"Thank you Summer, and thank you for staying here with Seth," Kirsten gave Summer a small smile.

"Mom," Seth said standing up from the couch and walking over to his mother and throwing his arms around her. Kirsten returned the hug and gave him a kiss on the temple. "How are you?"

"I'm…surviving, what about you?" She pulled away and gazed concerned at her son.

"I'm…okay." It was the best word the Seth could come up with, and Kirsten nodded. She felt Sandy slip his arm around her waist as they gazed on the feast that Ryan and Summer had prepared. It seemed every frozen and fairly easy to make thing that they had in their freezer was now warmed up and on their counter. And breakfast items. Bacon, eggs, toast. Ryan's specialty, Kirsten had to smile to herself.

"Are you hungry?" Marissa asked as she stepped into the kitchen.

"Yes, starving," Kirsten was surprised to admit. "How is your mother?"

"She's okay," Marissa said. "She's staying with my grandmother tonight."

"Well, then you are more than welcome to stay here with us," Sandy said. "As well as you Summer. We'll set up the guest rooms."

"Thank you," Summer said. "I'll call my dad."

"And mine," Marissa chimed in. "Thanks." She really didn't want to have to return to the empty house where Caleb had forced her to live, and her own father was so busy mourning the loss of Hailey that he wasn't too big on thinking about anyone's pain but his own.

"Kirsten? Sandy?" The front door opened and Hailey's voice drifted through and a second later she appeared in the kitchen and Kirsten threw her arms around her sister and the two held each other, sobbing, lost in their own little world of grief. No one said anything as the two sisters clung to one another.

"I'm so glad that you are here," Kirsten wailed, and Sandy was reminded that although Hailey caused his wife grief and annoyed her greatly sometimes, she still adored her little sister, and it was evident that the feeling was reciprocated.

"How are you holding up?" Hailey asked pulling away from Kirsten to study her face. Hailey tucked a piece of Kirsten's blonde hair behind her ear and smiled at her.

"I'm…surviving," she repeated the same thing that she had said to Seth. Hailey let go of her sister and stepped into the kitchen, hugging her nephew and brother-in-law along the way. She came to her step-sister and gave her a hug as well.

"How is your mother?" There was no hint of malice in her voice, and Sandy was also reminded of how much Hailey had grown up since she had left Newport for the last time. Marissa just shrugged. "And your dad?" Marissa raised an eyebrow at this one and Hailey shrugged.

"He's okay. He misses you." Hailey nodded and turned and looked at all the food that was set on the counter. "I'm starving. Is that a bad thing to admit? I feel like I shouldn't be able to think about food when my father is dead." It was the exact same way Kirsten was feeling, but she was never brave enough to admit feelings like that, whereas Hailey usually had no problem saying exactly what came into her mind.

"No," Sandy said wrapping his arms around Kirsten and giving her a soft kiss. "You have to eat."

And that was exactly what they did. They sat around eating, until all the kids had fallen asleep on the couches and chairs and floor, and Sandy had fallen asleep at the kitchen table, his head resting on his arms. Kirsten had slept all day, and Hailey had gotten some sleep on the plane, and only the two sisters remained awake.

"Do you remember that trip to the Virgin Islands?" Hailey asked. "I was about nine. You were home from Berkeley. Dad took us scuba diving?" Kirsten nodded, smiling to herself.

"Mom freaked out?" Kirsten said laughing slightly. "She kept saying that it was too dangerous. What was he thinking?" She shook her head. "It was kind of dangerous to take a nine year old. But he had been so excited…I just remember him spending the day with us. He didn't say one snide comment about my choice of school, or breaking up with Jimmy, or anything that day. It was…"

"Perfect," Hailey filled in.

"God, I'm going to miss him," Kirsten said sighing. "I know that he was difficult, and stubborn, and judgmental…but I loved him."

"And he loved you."

"You were his favorite," Kirsten pointed out. Hailey was surprised that her sister could say that without a hint of jealousy in her voice. Because the truth was that Hailey had always been so very jealous of her older sister.

"No, I wasn't. I was the baby and so he spoiled me, but you…you were his favorite. The smart one, the obedient one."

"I went to Berkeley and pissed him off," Kirsten argued.

"And you came back and did everything that he asked. He was so proud of you. He was always talking about you when you weren't around. Bragging about you up at school, and then when you got married and had Seth. He would pull out pictures of you and Seth to show off." Kirsten shook her head. She didn't know any of this. What else didn't she know about her father?

"Are you serious?" Hailey nodded smiling at her older sister.

"I think he was too afraid to show that he loved you, or was proud of you. I think he wanted you to keep having to try to prove yourself to him so that you would stick around. He never doubted that you would prove yourself, but he was so terrified that one day you would turn around and not need him and realize that you were better off without him. So he kept you on your toes, to keep you around." Before Kirsten could say anything else, Sandy stirred and blinked sleepily at the two women.

"Ladies." Kirsten had to giggle a little bit at the impression that Sandy's wedding ring had left on his face.

"Come on honey," Kirsten said standing and taking his hand. "Hailey?" Hailey placed her plate in the sink and followed her sister to the living room. Kirsten couldn't quite bring herself to leave Hailey tonight. She needed to be near her sister, so she pulled out some blankets and handed them to Hailey who curled up on the loveseat in the living room, as all available places were taken in the family room. Sandy climbed onto the couch and Kirsten settled herself down next to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

Her father had been proud of her. Her father had loved her.

She wasn't sure if this knowledge made his death a little easier to take, or that much harder. But she closed her eyes, tried to push all thoughts of her father out of her brain, and tried to get a little more sleep.

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So that was the second chapter. Please let me know what you thought of it! I'm going to take some Tylenol cold and flu and crawl into bed. Make me feel at least a little better? Thanks!


	3. Get us through, just this day

Here is the next chapter, I'm working on the next chapter for "Fair" too, but I have a four hour long class today, and then a night class, so it's going to have to wait until I get home and get time. But I'm trying, guys, I swear. Please review this though, and let me know what you thought. I'm off to take a nap before said four hour class. Oh, and I stole the whole quote at the beginning thing from Trinity is God. I hope she doesn't mind…mimicking is the highest form of flattery.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

* * *

"_You should. You are mortal: it is the moral way. You attend the funeral, you bid the dead farewell. You grieve. Then you continue with your life. And at times the fact of her absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep. But this will happen less and less as time goes on. She is dead. You are alive. So live." – Dream to Orpheus _

* * *

Sandy was afraid that he was going to have to take the door off the hinges again.

It had happened once before. The morning of Kirsten's mother's funeral, Sandy had woken up to find the other side of the bed empty. He got up confused, and went down the hall, and found that Seth was still fast asleep in his bed. Sometimes when Kirsten was upset, she would lie on her son's bed with him and sleep there. It was comforting to her to be near her little boy, to be able to watch his chest move up and down rhythmically and be able to run a hand through his unruly hair. Sandy had been sure that she would have gone there. He walked down stairs to the kitchen thinking that maybe she would have gotten up already. He found the kitchen empty and began to worry a little more. He checked the patio, but that too was empty. Sandy ran out to the garage, but her car was still there. Trying to calm himself down, he went back upstairs to check all the guest bedrooms and the bathrooms. He found each one empty. Now full fledged panic began to set in. She might have gone to beach to think about things, but she would have told him. Wouldn't she have told him?

Sandy went back to their bedroom ready to call Caleb and Hailey and see if they knew where she had gone. He really didn't want to get them all upset on today of all days. He looked one more time in their bathroom, and noticed that her closet door was shut. He walked over and tried the handle, and it was locked. Confused, he knocked lightly on the door, and heard her voice wavering,

"Please leave me alone."

"Honey? Please open the door," Sandy requested. His heart broke at the sound of her voice.

"No." She sounded remarkably like their six-year-old.

"Kirsten, honey, please."

"No." After several more minutes of this argument, the doorbell rang and Sandy sighed, and left his wife to go answer the door. His father-in-law stood there, looking tired and upset.

"Is Kirsten up?" He asked. For the first time since Sandy had met him, the old man seemed…well old. And like things were out of his control. Things were never out of Caleb Nichol's control. At least that was the message Caleb preferred to send. Sandy sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"She's locked herself in the closet. I was just about to get a screwdriver to take the door off."

"Let me talk to her," Caleb said as he made his way up the stairs. Sandy followed behind. Caleb knocked gently on Kirsten's closet door.

"Please Sandy, go away."

"Honey," Caleb's voice was soothing, and there was silence for a minute.

"Daddy, I don't want to come out."

"Why not honey?" Sandy had never seen this side of Caleb. This paternal, nurturing side. He quite honestly didn't think he had it in him.

"Because it will…make it real," Kirsten sobbed, and Sandy's heart broke once more for his wife.

"Go ahead Sanford," Caleb motioned to the door and Sandy began to unscrew the hinges, and making sure that it wouldn't fall in on her.

"Daddy?" Sandy turned and found Seth rubbing his eyes. "Where's Mommy?"

"She's…Caleb…can you?" Caleb nodded, picked up his grandson, and carried him out of the room. Sandy could hear him promise Seth a poptart as they made their way down the stairs. Finally Sandy unscrewed the last hinge and moved the door away.

Kirsten was curled up in a corner of the closet, gripping a sweater of her mother's and crying. Sandy hurried over to her, and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest.

"I don't want to make it real," she sobbed. "I don't want to say goodbye to her."

"I know sweetheart," he said running a hand up and down her back. "But you are going to hate yourself if you don't go." Kirsten's hands clutched at his sweater and her voice was small when she asked,

"Why? Why her?" And he wished that he had an answer for her.

Now, ten years later, Sandy woke up alone and groaned, hoping that he wouldn't have to unscrew the door once again. He sat up in bed and looked around, and spotted her sitting at the table, staring out the window at the ocean and sipping a cup of coffee.

"Honey?" He called out softly, and she turned her head slightly, as if acknowledging him. "You okay?"

"His funeral is today," she said softly. Sandy got out of bed and made his way over to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. "I'm…not ready for this." She had arranged the entire funeral when Julie announced that she didn't want the added burden of having to arrange her husband's funeral when she was a grieving widow. Kirsten had said nothing, she had just gone ahead and made all the calls. After each call, she would sit sobbing for a little while, before finally calming herself down and making the next call. It broke Sandy's heart to see her go through this, and he offered to help, but she had shaken her head.

"This is something I need to do," she said. She barely let Hailey help, delegating only the most simple of tasks to her little sister. After Kirsten had called the florist one night after dinner, began to cry again, and excused herself from the kitchen, Seth blew up at the remaining people in the kitchen.

"What the hell is wrong with Julie!? She just left this all to Mom? She's his wife, this is her job. It's bullshit. Mom's grieving too! Mom loved him more than Julie. Does Julie think about anyone but herself?" Ryan had wondered the same thing, but just never said anything out loud. Julie had never been his favorite person in the world, and her being so self centered was adding stress onto Kirsten, and that made him more upset than anything else. To see the woman that was always so together, break down so easily scared him a little bit.

"Seth," Sandy sighed. "I know, I'm upset by it too, but there's nothing that we can do but be there for your mom and help her out wherever we can."

"God, I hate her, Dad," Seth said angrily as he placed his dish in the sink. Seth's hands were shaking, and both Sandy and Ryan noticed at the same time.

"Seth…" Sandy wanted to say something to make things better for his son, say something to calm him down, but nothing came to mind. Instead he went and pulled him in for a hug, but Seth pulled away.

"I'm going to go check on Mom," Seth announced walking out of the kitchen. When Sandy went upstairs, Seth and Kirsten were talking quietly, Kirsten leaning back against the headboard, and Seth lying on the bottom of their bed, propped up on one elbow.

"You know you have to go," Sandy said softly as he took a seat next to his wife and took her slender hand in his. Kirsten nodded, placing a hand on her cheek to stop the tears.

"I know. But I just...it's so final." And Sandy could do nothing but hold her hand and lean in and place a soft kiss on her lips. "I guess I should start getting ready." She looked over at the dress on the hanger that she and Hailey had bought for the funeral. It was a simple, long sleeved black dress, and she had planned on wearing the pearls that her father had given her on her sixteenth birthday.

"It's going to be okay, we just need to get through today," Sandy told her. And that was what he kept thinking, just let us get through today. Let her get through today.

"I just can't believe he's gone," she muttered, standing up and heading towards the bathroom. Her father was dead.

It hadn't quite hit her about the enormity of that statement.

Her father was dead. Bits and pieces of memories began to infiltrate her brain. Like when she was four, and every night he would come to tuck her in and read to her _Peter Pan. _He would even make different voices for the different characters. These were the things that no one but her knew about. He wasn't that terrible of a man. And he had loved her and Hailey and her mother. He had been a good father. At least until she had let him down and chosen Berkeley over Harvard like he had so long hoped and dreamed.

When she was eleven he had taken her on a business trip with him to Paris, and took her shopping at all the expensive boutiques. They had walked in, and he had told the saleswoman,

"Isn't my little girl beautiful?" The saleswoman, sensing a good sale, had of course nodded. "She needs beautiful clothes to match. Something blue to match her eyes." Caleb had left her with his secretary and his credit card and Kirsten had gone crazy picking out clothes. "Anything she wants," he had said before he left. She had tried them all on for him when she had returned to the hotel, and he had clapped for her as she twirled around showing off the new dresses and skirts that she had gotten.

To everyone else he was a shrewd, cold, and calculating businessman, but to Kirsten there was a softer side there. There was the man who read her books every night, and bought her whatever she wanted to make her happy.

And she was going to miss him.

She slowly got dressed, and started getting ready. She left her hair down, because he had always said that he liked her hair better down.

"You look like your mom with your hair down," Caleb would tell her.

Before she left, she grabbed the sunglasses sitting on her dresser. Something told her that she would need them. She found her boys down in the kitchen sitting waiting for her in their matching dark suits and somber faces. Hailey sat at the counter wearing a black dress, and Kirsten wanted to rip the black dresses and suits off of everyone and burn them.

"Ready to go?" Seth asked standing up and taking his mother's hand. She had been surprised at how maturely he had been acting through all of this. Kirsten managed a nod, and Sandy took her other hand, and the five of them went to where a car was waiting to take them to the church.

What she would give to close her eyes and have this all have been a bad dream. Unfortunately, she had tried that, but every time she reopened her eyes, everything was real.

"Oh my God," Hailey breathed and Kirsten looked at her.

"What?"

"Look at what she is wearing." Kirsten went to ask who, but Julie came into her eyesight and there was no need. Julie was wearing a low cut black dress that left very little to the imagination. Kirsten shook her head. Only Julie would dress provocatively for her husband's funeral. Somehow she had missed that etiquette lesson on what to wear at your spouse's funeral.

"It's a little…inappropriate," Kirsten said politely.

"Inappropriate?" Ryan smirked. "It's a little missing." And Kirsten couldn't help it, she began to laugh.

"I'm sorry," she said as she doubled over. Julie looked over at her like Kirsten had grown a third head, and Kirsten could do little but laugh some more. "Oh God. I needed that." She put a hand up to her mouth and sighed, and felt hot tears prick her eyes. Sandy put a comforting hand on her back, Seth high fived Ryan, and Hailey shot Julie a dirty look, and Kirsten walked towards the casket to say goodbye to her father.

* * *

Okay, so that was the next chapter, please review and let me know what you thought. Thanks! 


	4. Shadows fall

Hello! Thanks for reviewing, and please do it again! So, I've never been to a will reading, so I was just going from my knowledge of movie and television will readings, if I've gotten something wrong, please forgive me. Okay? Thanks! I have to go read now for my night class, which sucks, but hey, it's stopped raining, and that's something. It hasn't stopped raining since last Wednesday. I need to seriously invest in a boat. Anyway, please review!

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

* * *

_"Life is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something"._ -_The Princess Bride_

* * *

Ryan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He was sitting with the Cohens at Caleb's will reading. Kirsten had insisted that he come with them.

"You are family," she reminded him. Ryan had just nodded, and while he would have liked to argue with her that that didn't necessarily mean that he had to go to the will reading of a man who hated him, she was still crying at the drop of a hat, and Ryan didn't want to be the one who started the waterworks again. It was infinitely better to just do as she asked.

So there he was, sitting between Kirsten and Seth, wearing a suit and listening to the attorney, Mr. Harrison. Sandy was on the other side of Kirsten, holding her hand and every once in a while rubbing a hand over her back. Marissa had been forced along by her mother, and because Hailey was there as well, the attorney's relatively large office felt small and stifled. Marissa gave him a small smile when she had come in, and then rolled her eyes at her mother's antics. Julie was putting on a show for anyone who would pay attention, black veil and all.

"So, let's see here," Mr. Harrison said reading over the document in his hands. "The first thing that Mr. Nichol requested was two trust funds set up, one for each of his grandsons, Seth and Ryan." All seven exchanged confused looks. Caleb had set up a trust fund for Ryan? Ryan shook his head. There had to be a mistake.

"Can you repeat that?" Sandy asked. The attorney looked surprised at their reactions and repeated what he had just read. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure," Mr. Harrison said, amusement and confusion mingled together in his voice. "It says that Ryan Atwood and Seth Cohen, along with any other grandchildren born to either of his daughters, are to each have their own trust funds which they will inherit upon their twenty-first birthdays." Ryan felt an onslaught of emotions hit him at once. Caleb had set up a trust fund for him? Caleb had hated him. He had never made his feelings for Ryan private. He didn't like him, plain and simple. Ryan couldn't think of a time when he was Ryan, and not "that boy." And Ryan had been living with Sandy and Kirsten for quite some time.

And yet, he had set up a trust fund for Ryan, treated him as if he were his grandson. It was baffling to say the least. Kirsten's hand squeezed his, and he was at least glad to know that this was making her happy. His confusion over the trust fund aside, he was aware that she was relieved to find out that her father had a heart. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I knew you'd win him over," she whispered into Ryan's ear. Ryan had a feeling that Caleb had done this more for Kirsten than he had because he thought of Ryan as a grandson. But still, the fact remained that he had done something nice for his daughter and the boy that she thought of as her own.

"What about the rest of his things?" Julie asked. Hailey shot her a dirty look, but Julie didn't back down.

"Well, it says that the rest of his fortune, including the Newport Group, should be split evenly between his two daughters. There's some small items, a car that goes to his son-in-law, and a house in Hawaii that he wanted a, uh, Mr. Shaunessy to have, but other than that, the bulk of his estate is to be split between his children, " Mr. Harrison continued to read. He placed his glasses on the table and looked at the people in front of him. All seven faces registered some sort of shock. Julie was the first to snap out of it.

"What about his wife?" She managed to sputter out. "Didn't he leave anything to me?" Mr. Harrison scanned the will once again.

"No, sorry," he said. "There's nothing about a wife." Julie jumped to her feet and glanced around the room angrily.

"So the kid from Chino gets some of Caleb's money, but I don't get a single goddamned cent?"

"Mom," Marissa said grabbing her mother's arm and trying to coax her back into the seat.

"Do you understand Marissa? We have nothing again! No money, no place to live! We. Have. Nothing."

"Julie," Kirsten spoke up. "You have a place to live. You can stay in your house."

"How nice of you," Julie spat at Kirsten sarcastically. "I bet you are just so pleased. You never wanted me to marry him!" Kirsten stood up and tried to place a calming arm on Julie's arm.

"Julie, please. I never wanted this to happen. We'll get you a job at Newport Group. It's going to be okay," Kirsten tried to placate her, but Julie was having none of it.

"Please, keep your charity," Julie said bitterly. "I don't want to work for you."

"Mom, please, she's just trying to help," Marissa said.

"No, she's trying to rub it in," Julie commented. Kirsten shook her head.

"No, I'm sorry, Julie, I didn't want this to happen," Kirsten said calmly. Before anyone could react, Julie's hand went up and slapped Kirsten across the face.

"Liar," she seethed. Sandy and Ryan both jumped to their feet right away to defend Kirsten. As Ryan stood in front of Kirsten, Sandy pulled her back from Julie, taking her face in his hands and gently pushing the hair that had fallen in front of her face back so that he could make sure that she was okay. Tears glistened in her eyes from the stinging pain, and Sandy was sorry to note that a hand shaped bruise was already forming.

"I think you should go," Seth said finally. Marissa nodded, and grabbed her purse, and then her mother's arm and pulled her out of the room.

"I'm so sorry," Marissa said before the door shut behind them.

"Are you okay?" Sandy asked Kirsten, examining her face. She managed a nod, her hand reaching for his and grasping it.

"Wow. I mean, if I was going to bet on which one of us she was going to flip out on, it would have been me," Hailey said speaking up trying to bring some levity into the situation. "After all, she does hate me much more than she hates you." Kirsten gave a small disbelieving snort, and shook her head, slowly regaining her senses.

"I don't think right now she's a big fan of either of us," she said.

"I'll go get some ice," Mr. Harrison said leaving the room. Sandy wouldn't take his eyes off of Kirsten.

"You sure you're okay?" He knew that the emotional damage would far outweigh the physical damage. She squeezed his hand in response.

"Mom, if you wanted a bruise so that you could be as cool as Ryan, all you had to do was ask," Seth joked. Kirsten managed a small laugh as Mr. Harrison came back in with an ice pack that Sandy placed gently on his wife's face. She winced and sighed.

"Thank you Mr. Harrison, and sorry again," she said.

"Oh, it's no problem. If you and your sister could just come back in a few days and sign some paperwork, we'll be all set." Kirsten nodded again, and Sandy helped her with her coat as the five of them walked towards the elevator.

"So, when do we get to kick Julie out of her house?" Hailey asked gleefully.

"We're not going to," Kirsten said again.

"What? After she bitched slapped you Mom? She doesn't deserve that house," Seth argued, he was still a little bitter that Julie had made his mother plan the funeral, and the slap had just been icing on the cake.

"Seth, I'm not going to kick her and Marissa out of that house," Kirsten maintained. She removed the ice from her face and gingerly touched her cold cheek. They stood there in silence for a few moments before Sandy spoke up, trying to bring the attention away from Julie.

"So, Ryan, you some how squirmed your way into the old man's heart. How'd you manage that one? I'd been trying for eighteen years!" Ryan just shrugged.

"You can give that to Julie," he said. "I don't need it."

"No, it's yours," Kirsten said firmly.

"Dude, think about it! As soon as we're twenty-one, financial freedom! We can cut off all ties to the parental units!" Seth said. Sandy kicked his son on the back of the leg, and Seth sighed. "We'll still keep in contact. Maybe a letter once a month." Another kick. "Hey, Dad, seriously, knock it off, or I'll cut you off, and only love Mom." Seth got his desired response, which was to make his mother laugh.

* * *

Marissa showed up at the house a few hours later.

"I just came to apologize again to Kirsten for my mother," Marissa explained when Ryan opened the door.

"Oh, she's in the kitchen," Ryan said as Marissa stepped inside. "Where's your mom now?"

"She's passed out at home," Marissa said. "She drank her body weight once she had come home."

"Kirsten said that she's not going to kick you guys out of the house," Ryan said. He couldn't believe that Kirsten would still want to help out Julie after everything that he had happened. When he had mentioned that to Sandy, he had just shrugged.

"She's a much better person than I am, that's for sure," Sandy told him.

"I'm moving back in with my dad," Marissa said smiling slightly. "One good thing about all of this." Kirsten was sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking a cup of tea, and Marissa saw that a bruise had formed where her mother's hand had been.

"Hi sweetie," Kirsten said looking up from the paper she had been reading when Ryan and Marissa walked in.

"Hi Kirsten. I just wanted to say sorry again."

"Honey, it's not your fault," Sandy spoke up from where he had been sitting at the kitchen table.

"No it wasn't," Kirsten assured her. "But thank you." Marissa nodded and shifted uncomfortably. "How is your mother?" Again, Ryan was amazed at Kirsten.

"She's…drunk. And upset." Marissa sighed. "She pulled Kaitlin out of school, saying that we could no longer afford it. Kaitlin's on her way home now, against her will, and I for one, want to be out of the house when she arrives."

"Can't your father afford it still?" Sandy asked at the same time that Kirsten said,

"We can pay for her school." Marissa gave a small smile.

"Yes, he can, and thank you for the offer, but Mom's hysterical and did all of this before Dad had a chance to stop it. By the time he called the school and told them that Kaitlin would still be staying there, they had already placed her on a plane home. So, when she comes home, she's pretty much going to turn around and go back." Kirsten sighed and placed pinched the bridge of her nose. She felt a headache forming. Why had her father done this? Did he just forget to update his will when he married Julie? No, that wasn't right, he had to of, otherwise he wouldn't have added Ryan in. Kirsten's head was spinning.

And despite everything, she still felt badly for her stepmother. Julie was once again left with nothing. Except she wasn't left with nothing, Kirsten was willing and ready to help her out in any way that she could, and she was still willing, if Julie would only accept her help. And Kirsten felt badly for Marissa who had to put up with this, and poor Kaitlin who had no idea what was going on, and whose world had already been shaken up enough. Kirsten would have strangled her father, had he still been alive. A small laugh escaped her lips at the thought, and it quickly turned into a sob. Sandy moved closer to his wife, and she shook her head.

"I'm okay," she assured him. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Should I try to talk to your mom?"

"No way," Sandy spoke up. Ryan was also shaking his head.

"Once she calms down," Kirsten amended her offer.

"Maybe," Marissa said. "It's worth a try. I should go see if she's okay." Sighing, she grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. Not that she was a huge fan of her mother, but she was sorry that this had happened.

Damn Caleb, Marissa thought to herself. Even dead he managed to screw everyone over.

* * *

Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter, and if you want me to continue it. So um, get to it! I have to go to class. Blech. Leave me something nice to come back to. 


	5. Face the world

So, it's like really cold outside today. I mean, REALLY cold outside. Negatives actually, and my lovely school does not believe in canceling classes, so I had to walk in it. I'm still unthawing. Anyway, if I make any mistakes in this chapter, I blaming my frozen fingers. So review please and let me know what you thought! Thanks!

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. But oh, if they were….

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_I promise, that one day,everything's going to be better for you- Donnie Darko _

* * *

Kirsten arrived at Julie's doorstep a few days later holding a bouquet of flowers. Ryan had come with her, saying that he wanted to check on Marissa, but Kirsten knew that her husband had made a request for him to accompany her, to make sure that nothing happened. Sandy would have gone himself, but he knew that Kirsten wouldn't allow it, so he sent Ryan along with a somewhat plausible excuse for coming. Kirsten was pretty sure he was more worried about the emotional damage than physical, and Ryan was there to run interference.

Kirsten took a deep breath and raised her hand and rang the doorbell. Ryan offered her a small, reassuring smile, and she was suddenly very grateful for her husband's insight, and her son's company. Marissa answered, looking harried and exhausted.

"Hi," she managed to greet both her boyfriend and stepsister brightly. Kirsten looked behind Marissa to the large stack of boxes that currently lined the front foyer of the massive house.

"Is that all yours?" Kirsten asked, remembering that Marissa was moving back in with her father. Marissa shook her head.

"It's my mom's. She's packing up the house." Kirsten took a step inside, shocked as she glanced around the room.

"Where is she going to go?" She asked. Marissa shrugged.

"My grandmother's," she answered. "I think."

"Back to Riverside?" Kirsten's voice was filled with disbelief. "She can stay here. Does she know that?"

"No thank you," Julie's voice, cold and cutting, came from the top of the stairs. "I told you already, I don't need your pity."

"I don't…that's not…it's your house, Julie, he built it for you," Kirsten finally said clearly exasperated.

"Yeah, and left it to you," Julie said. "That makes it yours. Why don't you move in here? Or better yet, Hailey. I'm sure she would love to have this house to throw wild parties in."

"Hailey's going back to Japan," Ryan offered. He wasn't sure why he had added that, or spoke up at all, and he was most certainly regretting it, as Julie shot him the most evil of all glares.

"Julie, please. Please, don't do this," Kirsten pleaded. She began to twist her wedding rings around her finger, and Julie glared at her.

"Why? Why would I want to live here? So I can be reminded that my husband didn't even care about me enough to leave me something, anything?! I would have taken anything Kirsten, just something to show that he actually cared about me. I know he didn't love me, I know that he didn't love me like he loved your mother, believe me, I got that, but I would have like to at least been acknowledged. So no thank you, I really don't want to stay in this house."

"Let me give it to you, and you can sell it," Kirsten offered. "We can go and transfer the deed right now. It's not charity, Julie. It's the right thing to do, it's yours."

"Right thing to do," Julie scoffed. "Right. If you'll excuse me I have packing to do." Julie stalked back up the stairs and all three watched after her.

"There's no use talking to her," Marissa said. "She won't listen."

"What about Kaitlin?" Kirsten asked.

"She's back at school, and I guess when she comes home for the summer she'll live with me and my dad," Marissa said. "I wouldn't blame her if she decided to spend the entire summer there. If I were her, I'd try to escape too." A loud bang was heard from the second floor, and a box of Caleb's belongings flew from the top of the stairs. Kirsten's heart broke watching her father's things fly everywhere, and both Ryan and Marissa noticed the look on her face.

"I'll help you pick it up," Ryan offered as he began to gather the things that Julie had tossed. Marissa knew that her mother was hurting, but there was no reason to act like a child. Kirsten picked up a picture in a broken frame of her, and her mother and father and felt hot tears begin to prick at her eyes. Together, Ryan and Kirsten placed all of the items back in the box and Ryan carried them out to the car.

"Could you…could you try to see that she doesn't ruin the things that were my mother's?" Kirsten asked sadly, and Marissa assured her that she would, and as soon as the door had shut behind Kirsten and Ryan, Marissa stormed up the stairs.

"Would you grow up?" She yelled to Julie.

"What are you talking about?"

"Throwing those things! They mean a lot to Kirsten, and she has done nothing to you, so stop being so awful to her. He was her father, and you just threw a box of memories down the stairs as if they mean nothing. They mean something to her, Mom. Stop thinking only about yourself. She's trying to help you. She has done nothing but try to help you." With that, Marissa turned on her heel, leaving behind her Julie, in a stunned silence.

* * *

"How'd it go?" Sandy asked when the door opened and Ryan and Kirsten walked in.

"Um, not well," Ryan answered after Kirsten said nothing, but placed the box of her father items, the broken picture frame on top, at Sandy's feet.

"She's moving to Riverside," Kirsten announced walking past him and into the kitchen.

"Who is?" Seth asked from where he was sitting at the counter.

"Julie."

"Riverside?!" Sandy exclaimed. "Why in God's name is she doing that?"

"She doesn't want to live in that house, and she doesn't want my pity," Kirsten explained placing both hands on the counter, and leaning down and sighing. "I wish there was something I could do."

"Honey, you have done everything you could," Sandy said rubbing a hand over her back. "You offered her the house, you offered her a job."

"But I…" Kirsten trailed off, and closed her eyes. "I should have done more." Sandy sighed and pulled her into his arms. He kissed the side of her head and wished that there was something that he could do to make it better for her.

"There isn't any more you could do," he told her. He looked back into the living room where the box was abandoned. "Should I even ask what fate came upon that box?"

"Oh, that was Julie," Kirsten answered bitterly. "She threw it down the stairs." She shook her head. "I'm going to go lay down." Sandy kissed the side of her head and watched as she walked away. She paused in the living room, and grabbed the box and was out of his eyesight.

"What is wrong with Julie Cooper?" Seth asked. As of late, he had been spearheading the "I hate Julie Cooper" campaign. He had always been indifferent towards his step-grandmother. He wasn't the biggest fan, but then again, her marrying his grandfather hadn't really affected his life all that much.

That was until now.

And now he hated her. Absolutely, positively hated her.

His father just shook his head and glanced back at where his wife had gone to.

"I should go check on her," he said sighing.

"Maybe you should give her a minute," Ryan said. He knew that sometimes he just liked to be alone, and he knew that Kirsten, as much as she needed their support, also just needed to be alone right then. Sandy turned to face his foster son, and nodded.

"Maybe you're right," he said nodding. "I could just kill Julie Cooper. And if I could have my way, I'd also like to dig up Caleb and kill him again."

* * *

An hour later, Sandy finally went up to his bedroom and found his wife on the floor, sifting through pictures and memories.

"You okay sweetie?" She shook her head, wiping away some tears that had been falling down her face.

"God, I miss him," she breathed as she buried her head in Sandy's chest. "I miss him so much." It came out muffled through his sweater, and he leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I know," he whispered. Sandy felt like he was repeating himself, but he had no idea what to say to make her feel even a little bit better.

"What do I do about Julie?" She asked. "I don't want her to have to leave…that house is hers. Why doesn't she just accept it?"

"I called Jimmy," Sandy told her taking a seat next to her and taking her small hand in his. "She won't listen to him either." Kirsten nodded, turning to look out the window at the ocean.

"I didn't think she would," she said stated sadly. "I just feel terrible for her. He left her nothing, Sandy. He left her absolutely nothing." She shook her head. "Putting the financial ramifications of that aside, can you imagine if I would die and not leave you a single thing? How would you feel?" Sandy tightened his grip on her hand.

"First of all, I can't imagine it, so please don't make me try, and second of all, that would be different," Sandy said. "We've been married for nearly 20 years. We married each other for love, and not for the reasons that your father and Julie married one another."

"I know, but… she thought he cared about her at the very least, and he didn't even…" Kirsten's voice trailed off, as she turned her attention back to Sandy. "I don't know."

"Stop thinking about it for tonight," Sandy suggested, picking up the items and placing them back in the box. "Stop thinking about that, and come downstairs. Watch a movie with me and the boys, we'll order pizza, and maybe we'll even talk Seth into playing one of his video games with us. It'll be good for you." Kirsten's face broke into a small smile, and Sandy felt like doing a dance of victory.

"Okay," she said nodding. Sandy took her hand and led her downstairs.

"Mother," Seth said smiling at her. "You can have the pick of film choice tonight. For your viewing pleasure we have, _Donnie Darko_, _The Goonies_, and this last one pains me, _When Harry Met Sally_. Please Mother, please choose wisely." Seth closed his eyes and winced as he held out the three movies for his mother to pick from.

"Well, as much as I love the third one," Kirsten said smiling. "I suppose I could go for _The Goonies_."

"Oh! Excellent choice Mom," Seth told her. "See, Ryan, I told you that she would watch _The Goonies_, where do you think I got my amazing taste from? It certainly wasn't Dad." Sandy feigned hurt.

"Hey!" He said. He slipped an arm around Kirsten, and was pleasantly surprised to see her still smiling.

"We ordered pizza awhile," Seth reported. "It should be here soon. I thought while we were waiting, you, my lovely parents, could watch me whop Ryan's ass in some ninja combat."

"Seth, don't say ass," Kirsten admonished. This is nice, she thought to herself. It felt good to laugh. For the first time since her father died, Kirsten didn't have the overwhelming urge to cry. This is good, she decided. Tomorrow she would have to continue to think about and deal with the whole Julie situation, but that night she could just be with her family and pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist.

And for the time being, she was perfectly content with that.

* * *

So I have to bundle up and go brave the snow (yes on top of the frigid temperatures, it decided to warm up just enough to place about three fresh inches of snow on the ground…fantastic) for my night class. Leave me a message and tell me what you thought. Oh, the quote from _Donnie Darko_ is one of my favorites, and the movie is one of my favorites, if you've never seen it I highly suggest you go rent it and watch it. It's incredible. 


	6. Say goodbye

Sorry this took so long. I went away for the weekend to New York City, which was awesome and crazy and wonderful, but it meant that I couldn't write this chapter like I had planned. So…now that I'm back at school and supposed to be writing a paper for history, it seemed like the perfect time to sit down and write this. I hope you enjoy it and please review and let me know what you thought! Thanks!

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

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_"Say goodbye_

_Lose your friends_

_Make them go_

_Don't need them around" - Guster _

* * *

It was strange not having Julie Cooper in Newport anymore. Kirsten had gone over to the house to salvage some of her father's things, and to try one more time to talk some sense into Julie.

"Kirsten. Sandy," Julie said civilly when she opened the door. Kirsten had insisted they stop on their way to dinner, and Sandy had obliged. He was relieved to see that Julie was being polite at the very least. "Did you come for some of Caleb's things?" Kirsten twisted her wedding ring around her finger, a nervous habit, and when she finally looked up to answer, she noticed that Julie was staring at her hand. Kirsten quickly stopped fiddling with her rings and nodded.

"And to ask you one more time if you were sure that you didn't want the house?" Kirsten tried.

"Yes."

"Yes you want the house?" Sandy clarified.

"No, I don't want the house. Yes, I'm sure. The boxes are over there. Take whatever you want." Kirsten bit her lip and stepped over to the boxes. "I'm giving whatever you don't want to charity." Kirsten kneeled down and began to go through the boxes. The clothes, she would leave, obviously, she had no use for them. But the boxes of pictures and other various items, she took. She came to a box at the bottom, and in her father's handwriting, it said "Kirsten." She peeled the tape off the top and her breath caught in her throat. It was a box of drawings and other various works of art that Kirsten had done when she was little. It was an old green sweater, and underneath it was a picture of her father holding her for the first time, wearing that same sweater and beaming at the camera. Pictures and birthday and Christmas cards, and ugly ties and other awful gifts that Kirsten had given him when she was little. She looked over and noticed an identical box with Hailey's name on it.

"You okay sweetheart?" Sandy gently asked placing a warm hand on her shoulder. She nodded, wiped a tear away and stood up.

"All these boxes go to the car," she said gesturing to the small pile.

"Okay," he said and he began to carry some towards the door. Julie stood looking on with her arms crossed.

"Did you get everything you wanted?" Julie asked, and Kirsten couldn't help but catch the faint trace of bitterness in Julie's voice. It was as if Julie had finally admitted to herself that Kirsten could not be held accountable for what had happened, but she couldn't help but still feel a little resentment towards her stepdaughter.

"Yes, thank you," Kirsten said softly. She gave Julie a small smile and stepped towards her. "Julie, if you ever need anything…please call me." Julie looked down and didn't reply. Kirsten walked over to her and took her hand. To her surprise, Julie didn't immediately pull it away. "Don't be a stranger." Sandy came back in, and grabbed the last couple of boxes.

"Ready to go honey?" He asked. Kirsten nodded, and let go of Julie's hand. Julie looked as if she was going to stop Kirsten, stop her and say something, but she stood silently and watched as Kirsten followed Sandy out of the house. Julie moved so that she could see out the window and watched as Sandy put the last box in the trunk of the Range Rover and then wrapped his wife in his arms. He said something into her ear which made her smile, and Julie wondered why neither one of her marriages had turned out like that. Obviously, she knew why her second marriage hadn't been like that, but she couldn't quite understand what she had done wrong with Jimmy. And then she remembered.

He had been still in love with Kirsten.

Everyone's in love with Kirsten, she thought bitterly, and then shook her head. She decided that she wasn't going to be angry at Kirsten. It wasn't Kirsten's fault. It became a mantra that she repeated to herself. Not Kirsten's fault. Not Kirsten's fault.

It was hard sometimes to remember that she had done nothing wrong. Nothing except be completely and totally perfect. Julie had never met anyone who was more perfect than Kirsten Nichol Cohen. She was intelligent, beautiful, strong, and kind. Julie had never pretended to be kind, and she was the first to admit that she was not nearly as smart as Kirsten. It was hard being around Kirsten, being around Newport, and remembering that her husband hadn't cared about her at all. It was why she had to leave.

And she did. Much faster than Kirsten and Sandy had expected her to. And it was strange. To live in a Julie Cooper-free Newport. It just didn't seem right.

But Julie was gone. Back to Riverside to live with her mother, and nothing was the same anymore.

* * *

Kirsten's first day back at work was plain awful. She kept expecting to see her father at his desk when she walked past. She kept expecting to pick up the phone and hear his voice demanding that she come to a meeting with some Japanese business men.

But nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Everyone kept giving her what could only be described as pity looks. She didn't want to be pitied. She hated being pitied. At lunch, she just couldn't take it anymore and picked up and called Sandy at work.

"Sandy Cohen's office?"

"Hi, this is Kirsten, his wife. Is Sandy in?"

"Yes, hold on one second Mrs. Cohen," his secretary told her and a minute later Sandy's comforting voice came on the line.

"Hey babe, are you okay?" He had been worried about her first day back. He was sure that it was going to be hard on her, and while he wished he could do something to fix it, he knew that it was something that she had to do. And she had to do it on her own.

"No," Kirsten said and that was all it took for her to break down in tears. Sandy's heart broke as his wife's sobs came through the phone. He grabbed his keys and began to put on his coat. Sandy couldn't stand it when Kirsten cried, and she seemed to be doing a lot of it lately.

"I'm on my way."

"No," Kirsten said finally getting control of her emotions. "No, you have to work. You stay there. I'm fine…it's just hard, that's all. I keep thinking that he's just down in his office, and then it hits me that he's not and I…it's fine. I'm fine." Somehow, Sandy didn't believe her.

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

"Yes. Stay there. I'm fine. I'll see you at home later?"

"Yes. I'm going to try to get out of here early. I love you so much." That brought a slight smile onto Kirsten's face.

"I know," she replied. "I love you too." She hung up, and took a deep breath. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she managed to get control of herself again. She heard a knock on the door, and looked up.

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen," it was Caleb's personal secretary, Lynn.

"Oh, Lynn, hello. Come on in," Kirsten stood up and crossed over to where Lynn was standing.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing?" Kirsten's eyes filled up with tears and she began to cry again.

"Oh! Oh God, I'm sorry Mrs. Cohen, I didn't mean to make you cry!" Lynn ran to the desk and grabbed the box of tissues that Kirsten kept there.

"It's okay," Kirsten said wiping away the tears and wishing that she could stop crying. She wished she could think about him without the waterworks.

"You know, some people said that he was a bastard, but he was always so nice to me," Lynn said shrugging placing a hand on Kirsten's back. "And he loved you. He talked about you all the time." Couldn't he have just said that to me? Kirsten thought but instead she gave Lynn a small smile.

"So I hear," she said dryly.

"Oh, he was so proud of you! When you got into Harvard and Berkeley, he strutted around this office." Harvard had been his dream for her, and she had gotten in, but Boston didn't seem like her place to be. And she was right. If she had gone to Boston, she would have never met Sandy, or had Seth, or taken in Ryan. The three best things in her life would have been erased from memory. But he had never once said a single thing about being proud of her for Berkeley. He had hated Berkeley from the minute that she had gotten that application and filled it out.

"It's a school for stoners and losers," her father had repeatedly said. Kirsten had ignored him, and had been so excited to get in there. And he had grumbled and threatened to cut her off, which Kirsten thought for awhile he might actually do. But she was pretty sure that her mother had stepped in and stopped him.

He couldn't have been proud of her for Berkeley.

Kirsten was finding out things that she never knew about her father, and she wondered why he couldn't have just told her when he was alive that he loved her. That he was proud of her. That he had always been proud of her. Instead of making her jump through hoops trying to please him.

Lynn didn't miss Kirsten's raised eyebrow and smiled at the younger woman.

"He adored you. He just didn't show it very well," Lynn said shrugging. "But I'm sorry to upset you."

"It's okay," Kirsten said taking Lynn's hand. "You're not upsetting me. I just...I'm a little emotional as of late. Thank you for coming by."

"Not a problem Mrs. Cohen…" Lynn bit her lip and Kirsten knew that she wanted to ask her something, but wasn't entirely sure how to just come out and say it. Kirsten patiently waited. "Are you going to move into Mr. Nichol's office?" Kirsten hadn't even thought about it yet. She didn't see a point in actually moving everything over there. Sure it was bigger, but her office was big too. But she felt like she owed it to her father. Filling his space, metaphorically and literally.

"I'm not sure," Kirsten finally answered. "I haven't even…I still…there's a lot of things I need to work out still." Lynn nodded and gave Kirsten a smile.

"Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me." She gave Kirsten a hug and then let herself out of the office.

Kirsten sunk down into her chair and sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Who was she kidding? She wasn't going to get anything done that day. She listlessly flipped through some files, but couldn't actually make herself focus on anything in particular. The phone rang and interrupted her thoughts. She thought it would be Sandy, and was surprised when she heard Julie's voice, completely drunk at two in the afternoon.

"Kirsten? I didn't know who else to call…I'm…" Julie's voice trailed off and Kirsten heard her sigh. "Never mind, you're probably busy. I'm sorry."

"Tell me where you are, I'm on my way." Kirsten grabbed a pen and piece of paper and wrote down the address that Julie rattled off to her.

"You're coming?" Julie's voice was small and disbelieving.

"I'm coming," Kirsten assured her standing up and grabbing her coat.

* * *

Okay, so review and let me know if you still are interested in it or if you want me to just wrap it up. Awesome. Now I have to go read about colonial history which is just so much fun I don't know what to do with myself. Cheer me up and review! Thanks! 


	7. Face the dawn

I think that this is going to be the last chapter. So please review and let me know what you thought! You guys are awesome, I don't think that gets said enough. You guys are awesome!

Disclaimer: Oh, yeah, I don't own the characters. Unfortunately.

* * *

Kirsten walked into the shady bar and perched her sunglasses on the top of her head. She looked completely out of place, and she didn't miss the glances that came her way from almost everyone in the bar. Except for one person. A woman whose head was currently resting on the cool surface of the bar, her red hair splayed all around her. Kirsten almost didn't recognize her at first.

"Julie?" Kirsten asked gently placing a hand on Julie's arm. Julie looked up and blinked at Kirsten.

"You came," Julie said in a monotone voice.

"Yes," Kirsten said. "I came. You called, and I came." Julie nodded and then groaned. "How much have you had to drink?" Kirsten asked.

"Too much," Julie answered grabbing her head.

"Let's get you home," Kirsten said helping her friend stand.

"I don't want to go home," Julie said. She looked at Kirsten, and Kirsten was reminded of the time that she had found a lost kitten on the street, and its face, deplorable and pathetic, won her over, and she tried to convince her father to let her keep it. Finally it was her mother who stepped in and talked her father into letting Kirsten have it. Julie looked as pathetic as that kitten had. And just like the kitten, Kirsten had the overwhelming urge to take Julie home with her.

"Julie, what happened?"

"My life fell apart," Julie replied melodramatically. But the ironic part was that Julie was not exaggerating. Her life had fallen apart. Her husband died, left her nothing, one of her daughters hated living with her so much that as soon as the opportunity came she left, and the other one was well on her way to hating Julie like her eldest daughter did, and was off in boarding school. Julie's life, in theory mostly but not always in practice, had always seemed perfect. It wasn't Kirsten Cohen perfect, but to the outsider it looked as if Julie was doing quite well for herself.

Then Caleb died and it all went to shit.

Actually Julie supposed that her downfall had come with Jimmy and his admission about his embezzling. From that moment on, everything seemed to go downhill. Of course, she could have been supportive. She could have stayed with him, that's probably what Kirsten would have done.

Maybe Julie should just try to be more like Kirsten. Maybe that would solve all her problems.

"Let's go sweetie," Kirsten coaxed gently. She helped Julie out of the seedy bar and into the passenger seat of her car.

"Thank you," Julie told her as Kirsten closed the door and walked around to the driver's side. Kirsten paused and took a deep breath before climbing into the car. As she was pulling out, her cell phone began to ring.

"Can you see who it is?" Kirsten asked as Julie grabbed the ringing phone and fumbled with it. Julie squinted at the small caller ID.

"Sandy," she answered after a beat. She handed it to Kirsten and she flipped it open.

"Hi sweetheart," Kirsten said. Julie listened to Kirsten's side of the conversation. "Oh I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to worry you. No, I'm fine." Kirsten shot a look over in Julie's direction. "I'll tell you later. Okay? I know. I'm sorry again. Okay. Yes. I love you too. Bye sweetie." Honey. Sweetheart. They were terms that Julie just threw around without placing any meaning behind them. But Kirsten meant them.

"I'm sorry for that too," Julie told Kirsten as she closed her eyes and rested her head against the seat. "He's mad at you?"

"No," Kirsten answered. "Concerned about me."

"I wish someone was concerned about me," Julie said softly, but Kirsten caught it.

"I'm concerned about you, Julie. Are you okay?"

"What's okay? I'm back to living with my mother in a place that I loathe, and both of my daughters hate me, as does my first husband, and my second husband is dead. And instead of facing all of the gossip and fake sympathy looks from the Newpsies, I just ran."

"I didn't tell anyone about my father's will," Kirsten said. "As far as they know, you sold the house and went out of town to get away for awhile." Julie looked at her in surprise.

"You didn't tell anyone?" Kirsten shook her head.

"You can come back, Julie. The house is yours. We're still in the process of selling it. You can buy another house and live in Newport. You're obviously unhappy with your mother."

"Kirsten, why are you being so nice to me? I was terrible to you. I was always terrible to you. From the very first minute that I met you I was terrible." Julie shook her head ruefully. "I was jealous. I can admit that now. Well, I think I can admit it because I've had maybe one too many drinks…but that's the truth. I was jealous of the all wonderful and great Kirsten Nichol. Jimmy could do nothing but talk about you, his parents could nothing but talk about you! How smart, and beautiful, and just all around perfect you were. I was never enough for Jimmy. I wasn't you, and I was never enough for Caleb, because I wasn't your mother. I just…I just wanted to be enough for someone." Julie turned and looked out the window at the passing scenery and Kirsten searched for something to say, and came up completely empty. She was saved from replying by the phone ringing again.

"Hello? Oh hey, honey. How was school? I can pick up pizza, is that what you want? What does Ryan want on it? Pepperoni? Okay, I'll get one. Okay, I'll see you in a little bit."

"Where are we going?" Julie asked.

"You said that you didn't want to go home, so I'm taking you to my house," Kirsten answered with a shrug. "Unless you want me to take you somewhere else?" Julie shook her head.

"No, that's fine." They drove in silence for a little while longer before finally pulling up to a pizza place and Kirsten hopped out to grab the pizza. While she waited, she called Sandy to tell him that Julie was with him, and for him to warn the boys. She glanced out at the car, where Julie's head was slumped up against the window.

Kirsten didn't know what to do to make things better for Julie. She didn't think there was anything that she could really do to make things better for Julie. She was at a complete loss as how to deal with this all.

Julie barely stirred when Kirsten climbed back into the Range Rover with the pizzas. And she only looked up when Kirsten started the car.

"Could you find me somewhere in Newport to live?" Julie asked. "Something in my price range?"

"Well, the house is going to sell for a pretty nice chunk of change," Kirsten told her with a small smile. "I think that your price range is higher than you think."

"That's your money Kirsten, I can't take that."

"It's your money. It was your house. He bought it for you."

"But he left it to you."

"But…God, Julie, it's yours okay? I don't want it. I don't want the house, and I don't want the money from the house. It's yours. So just…take it." Kirsten sighed and turned her attention back to the road. They were almost to her house.

"Are you sure?" Julie asked finally in a small voice. "I don't want your charity."

"It's not charity. It is rightfully yours." Kirsten used the voice that Seth had named her "no-nonsense" voice. It left very little room to argue, and she hoped that it had been successful.

"Okay," Julie said just as Kirsten pulled into the driveway. She turned off the car and the two women sat there for a few seconds, before the door opened and Sandy appeared looking out worriedly.

"He's worried about you," Julie commented. "It must be nice…to have someone worry about you like that. Have someone love you like that." Kirsten turned back to see her husband crossing the driveway to the car.

"It is," she agreed giving him a reassuring smile as she climbed out and gave him a kiss.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Everything's fine," she told him. "Julie's selling the house and she's going to move back to Newport." Sandy raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "I picked up pizza," Kirsten said changing the subject.

"I know, Seth told me, he also said that he was 'starving,' so we'd better get this in to him," Sandy said taking the pizza off his wife and leading the three inside the house. Julie seemed to have sobered up quite a bit since Kirsten had picked her up, but she still seemed a little wobbly, so Kirsten offered her a hand and helped her into the house.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Cooper, uh Nichol, uh," Ryan stuttered when they walked into the kitchen. He and Julie had still never been on the greatest terms. Especially not since Caleb left Ryan money and not her.

"Call me Julie," she told him as Sandy pulled out a chair for her and she plopped down. Ryan just nodded.

It was an awkward dinner, no one really knew what to say to Julie. Kirsten ended up holding up more than her fair share of the conversation. Even Seth was somewhat silent through the meal.

"So…Mom, how was work today?" Seth asked as he helped himself to another piece of pizza.

"It was…okay," Kirsten finally said.

"Dad?"

"Oh, you know, boring as usual. How was school today?"

"Oh you know, boring as usual," Seth answered.

"Did you see Marissa?" Julie spoke up suddenly.

"Yes," Ryan replied.

"Is she okay? How is she doing?"

"She's good," Ryan said shifting uncomfortably.

"Can you tell her…could you ask her to call me?" Julie requested. "She won't return my phone calls." Julie hated admitting that her daughter refused to talk to her. She hated admitting any weaknesses and that seemed all she had been doing all afternoon to Kirsten.

Admitting her weaknesses.

"I'll tell her," Ryan said nodding.

"Thank you," Julie said softly.

"I'm going to go start my homework," Seth said quickly excusing himself from the table and the awkward silence that had once again taken over.

"Yeah, me too," Ryan echoed and they dropped their plates in the sink and rushed out of the kitchen. Only the three adults were left at the table, each wondering who was going to be the first one to talk.

"So, do you want to stay here tonight?" Kirsten asked Julie.

"Oh, no, you've done enough, I'll just call a cab and go back to my mother's house."

"No, it's no problem. We can go house hunting tomorrow, and if you stay here we'll have a head start," Kirsten said giving Julie a smile. Sandy wondered how his wife could do it. She and Julie had always had some sort of relationship that he supposed could be classified as friends, but she was going above and beyond the call of duty on this one. It occurred to him that maybe Kirsten was doing what she always did when it came to her father. She was trying to make up for her father being an asshole. She was always trying to make up for his behavior by bending over backwards to clean up the mess that he made. Every time that Caleb would do something rude, or say something awful to Sandy, Kirsten was always on her very best behavior, tying to make it up to him. He would tell her time and time again that it wasn't her fault, and he knew that it wasn't her fault, but it was no use.

* * *

She was doing the exact same thing with Julie now.

"I'll go make up the bed," Sandy offered, and he got up from the table, and before he left the kitchen, he leaned down and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. God he loved her. He loved her for wanting to fix everything for everyone. He loved that she thought that she could. He loved her.

It had been strange enough to have Julie Cooper Nichol out of Newport, but it was even stranger having her in their house. Under the same roof.

"Can we go put her hand in a bucket of warm water?" Sandy asked Kirsten as they lay in bed that night.

"No," Kirsten told him, but she laughed at the suggestion. "Although that would be pretty funny." Sandy rolled over and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"With my father's death? Or Julie?" Kirsten asked.

"With everything," Sandy said. Kirsten sighed and buried her head in his shirt.

"I think so," she said. "I mean, I'm not okay with my father's death, obviously. Could I ever really be okay? I still miss him. I'm always going to miss him, just like I'm always going to miss my mom, but I feel better knowing that Julie is going to be taken care of. I'm not sure why he left her out, but he did, and this way, you know, she has something. It just wouldn't be right, me taking the money for the house. He bought it for her."

"And gave it to you and Hailey," Sandy pointed out, and when she sighed, he decided that he should keep his comments to himself, and instead busied himself with leaving a trail of kisses on her bare shoulders.

"It's hers," Kirsten repeated. "And the money from selling it should go to her."

"Okay," Sandy said. "I personally think that we have enough money. And if it makes you feel better, then…well, give her whatever you want. "

"Thank you," Kirsten said softly.

"For what?"

"For everything. Julie said to me in the car how nice it must be to have someone love you so much that they worry about you, and not just physically, but you know, worry about their emotional well being too, and I just…thank you."

"Oh honey," Sandy said smiling at her. "It's a piece of cake. But you know, if you wanted to do something for me, you could."

"What's that?" Kirsten asked smiling back at him. Sandy grinned and leaned down and whispered in her ear and then left another trail of kisses down her neck. "Oh well, ask and you shall receive," she told him as she fumbled for the light and switched it off.

* * *

That's it kids. Please review and let me know what you thought. I was getting kind of tired of it, and so I just wrapped it up. I hope that you aren't too disappointed. Anyway, let me know! I'm off to write about John Dewey. Fun huh? 


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